Roar? About all I can muster on this New Years Day is a muted meow. I had a very good night last night and, as is the custom, drank a lot. This year my main drink was a gallon of Apple Pie (shared by three). It was not traditional Apple Pie because I couldn’t get hold of any Everclear in the UK or an equally strong substitute so I used the following ingredients.
- 2L Scrumpy Cider
- 2L Vodka (Alc 45% vol)
- 1L Apple Barcardi
- 3L Apple Juice
- 5 cinnamon sticks
As a change from going into London for the festivities, we decided to grace Dartford with our presence (dressed in full Burner gear). Being dressed so outrageously we were very conspicuous, which we enjoyed, and gained free entry into one place, the bouncer wanting us to ‘liven the place up’. The place soon started emptying and we ended up following everyone else to the nightclub of my youth. This place is the same as every suburban club in the country - strict dresscode, overpriced and/or watered-down drinks, vomit and blood stained carpets, atrocious mixing, not enough people behind the bar, and wall to wall chavs with no concept of entertainment beyond a three mile radius from where they were spawned.
So we three Burners enter the mix. Jo was wearing her goggly-eyeball outfit with goggly-eyeball accessories, pink boa and pink furry shrug with silver glitter plimsolls. Emma was wearing a pink punk fairy outfit (borrowing my pink tutu). While I was wearing my pink and green sprayed camo jeans covered in pink el-wire, pink and green furry shrug, pink and green jungle boots with pink and green body-paint on my head. If I ever found myself in a pink and green jungle I would be very, very hard to find. Just for NYE I customised a t-shirt, the front with white el-wire in the shape of ‘07′ and a list of my ten resolutions for this year printed on the back.
Resolutions for 2007
- Finish my Burning Man art installation
- Learn how to use a sewing machine
- Become fluent in Swahili
- Set up a charity website
- Start learning jujitsu
- Get back on a horse
- Stop biting my nails
- Have more sex
Start my blog- Cook more
Two things surprised me during the night. The first was the 100% positive response we received from everyone. I lost count of the number of people taking photographs, men shaking my hand and applauding us for making such an effort. Little do they know how it was no effort at all. No-one challenged me to a fight or accused me of being gay either. I was also surprised I got into a club wearing steel toe-cap boots, although I doubt they suspected me of being the type to kick someone in the head with them. Can you imagine the evidence in court? Pink and green scuff marks to the victim’s forehead!
We ended up back home by 4:00 am to finish off the remaining warmed Apple Pie, phoned a couple of friends in the US and ended the night with an agonising 15 minute hiccup session before passing out.
So, this is me and this is my blog.
After a few failed attempts over the years to keep a diary I’m gonna give blogging a go. Will the world be interested in what I have to say? I don’t care. I’m doing this mainly for two reasons. To entertain my friends and loved ones while allowing them to keep informed with what I’m up to, and as a permanent record of my life for my children to read when they’re older. For those of you that don’t know, I currently have no children, nor girlfriend for that matter, and don’t want children for a good few more years yet, but am still quite clucky and think of things like this.
If anyone else stumbles into my little corner of the interweb and happens to be interested in what I have to say then that’s fine with me too. But I doubt it.
One Comment
whooo the new year has started and alan for this blog are your words that in time will mean alot to you and many other people to. i just wish i was there to see you in pink
great job
oxoxox
jan
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